Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Thursday, May 26, 2011

AQUAMAN ON LAND

What if Aquaman decided to imigrate to Land? He would have to wear a goldfish aquarium helmet since he wouldn't be able to inhale oxigen. He would have to find a job to buy his wife all the shiny things in the mall. His heroism would be corrupted by the filthy capitalism system.


AQUAMAN ON WATER

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

BAD THOUGHTS

It was 12:56am, almost time to go to bed. I usually go to bed around 1:00 am but I still had to delete lots of spams that people keep sending to my email throughout the week.


It is pretty annoying and takes me quite a while to delete all of them. I really had to pee so bad but I was determined to go through all that task before going to the bathroom, and then finally getting ready to go to bed.


I was curious about one of the spams. I opened it up and it revealed a freaky E.T on the screen. It was one of those stupid emails about "reptilians". Crazy theories saying that Gorge W. Bush or the Queen Elizabeth are E.Ts because of the size of their head or even their ears. I know...It sounds pretty retarded but after seeing that image I really freaked out.


In fact, I was so freaked out that I couldn't even go to the bathroom to pee. I jumped straight to my bed.



Scary thoughts started to pop in my head. I started imagining "what if those creatures really exist?" " What if George W Bush is really a reptilian and he will come to my room and eat me alive?" They could attack me from anywhere!! They could be staring at me through my window.
 
 


They could be underneath my bed ready to have me as an asian snack!


I was completely freaked out!! i couldn't even move. Yet, my bladder was exploding and I really needed to pee. I had to make a choice and quick!! but "What if a reptilian is waiting me on the hallway?" They could abduct me and insert a chip inside my brain. They could even transform me into a reptilian with a long head!  Those were horrible fears to deal with but...





I resolutely decided to stand up like a man and face my fears. I stood up and started to firmly walk towards the bathroom.

Finally I was able to pee and that felt so good! I not only relieved my bladder but also proved to my self how manly I was.


It's one of those moments you really feel you are tough and strong. An incredible sense of pride came into myself.


When suddenly,  I felt something touching my head....

That sense of pride instantly faded away!!! I was so freaked out that I started  peeing everywhere.
Accidentally, I ended up peeing all over my roommate's new work out shoes.
My roommate had just bought this new tennis shoes and he would probably kill me if he noticed pee on it.
I kept imagining what would happen to me if he ever found out.
So I spent the whole night washing his shoes.  At that night I had no sleep. However, I discovered a way of taking my head away of bad thoughts. Every time you feel scared at night try doing things that could distract you from those bad thoughts. I guarantee it works!! I discovered it in a very hard way but you could find a pleasant one.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Monday, May 09, 2011

ONE OF MY CRAZY NON-SENSICAL DREAMS

A few days ago I had a dream that really called my attention. It was a very strange dream and it made no-sense whatsoever. In this dream, two of the most successful Hollywood entertainers of all times were considering me as a prodigy and they believed I could somehow fix their shows.


INT. ANIMATION STUDIO - MORNING

Leo Matsuda, a very hardworking and a little stressed out foreign boy, is crunching really hard in one of his storyboard sequences. It is a tight deadline and he has to turn it around in a very short amount of time. Unexpectedly, Larry David, a prestigious Hollywood writer, shows up in his cubical office asking him for a freelance job.

                                        


                                                                             LARRY            
Hey you, people are complaining my show is
too dry. I need to make it more cartoony.

LEO             
I wish I could help you Sir but I cannot spell
 in English. Maybe you should hire a real writer.

                                    


                            LARRY
          Just shut up. I heard you are good at it.
          You have to get this back to me in 30 min
          otherwise you are fired.


      
                         LEO
        I understand you are a busy man sir but
        I'm pretty busy here at work too so maybe
        you should talk to our producer. Besides, I
        I believe he is the only one who could
        actually fire me.


        
                          LARRY
            Do you know who I am? I can blacklist
            you through the whole entertainment industry
            so just shut up and cartoonize my script.

               


                         LEO
          But I'm clueless here sir. Can you give me
          some directions?


                        LARRY
           Start from page 1, little shithead.

Leo agonizes over myriads of pages floating through his cubical.He has no idea in how to address his deadly situation.

Suddenly, a warm hand touches Leo's shoulder.

It's Jerry Seinfeld, the other very successful entertainer in Hollywood. He has very kind eyes and lots of charisma. Awesome 90's hairstyle.
    

                         JERRY
           What you need is some fresh air, boy.
           Let me take you for a ride.

EXT. BURBANK STREETS - DAY

In his Expensive Convertible Ferrari Testarossa, Jerry Seinfeld takes little Leo for a ride. Leo is now extremely confused and scared of what could happen to his professional future.


             
                           LEO
      I thought you said it was just a ride, man.
      I'm in a terrible crunch time at work and I have Larry
      David's freelance to finish. Please,
      Take me back to Burbank, man!

          
                           JERRY

       Larry David? He is already tracking you down?
       I knew it. If that fool thinks he can be more
       entertaining than me he is dead wrong. I have
       Leo Matsuda! The all-star.
                             
                            LEO
            But I don't wanna be a star.
            I'm a shy guy!

                        



                         
                           JERRY
           Shut up! I heard you are brilliant, kid.
           I'll make you into my favorite friend
           in the 10th season.
   
                             LEO
           I thought your favorite friend was
           Jason Alexander.
          
                            Jerry
               Jason is an old hag now.
              I need brand new talent in the show.
              This will be the summer of Matsuda!

Jerry speeds in his Ferrari as if it is a supersonic jet. In a few minutes they arrive in his billion-dollar mansion in the Hamptons.

Jerry parks in his luxurious parking lot. We see loads of other Testarossas just like the one he was driving.


INT. JERRY'S HAMPTONS MANSION - AFTERNOON

Jerry tries to impress Leo with the grandeur of his sophistication and healthiness. Jerry shows off his exorbitant aquarium with rare  wild fish from the Atlantic deep seas. He wants Leo at any price and he is definitely impressing him. At this point Leo is starting to believe he is some kind of stardom.


Finally he introduces Leo to his most precious object. His trillion dollar Piano. He wants Leo to show his potential as a star. He wants to see Leo shinning through this magnificent musical instrument.

                         JERRY
          Tear this apart, boy.
    
                         LEO
          Well, I'll try my best, man.

 



As Leo start playing the piano, Jerry realizes the boy is actually a farce. He is no stardom. Jerry is disappointed and frustrated. He kicks Leo out of his mansion.



And that's when my alarm went off and  I woke up.  I disappointed my favorite entertainers Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld and also my producer in this dream. No freelance finished,  no stardom gifts, and no deadline reached. I was glad at least it was just a dream otherwise I would be jobless, blacklisted and probably still walking back all my way like a hobo from the Hamptons to California.

I have no clue what this dream means but it is probably related to the pressure I've been going through recently. Some studies say dreams are signs related to what we are going through in our personal lives. Maybe It's a sign to me to take it easy....Who knows....