People always tell me how jealous they are by the fact that I am brazilian. They say: "Wow! you live in a country surrounded by wilderness!"They literally think I actually live in the middle of a rain forrest, surrounded by crocodiles, carnivorous plants, and anacondas.
In fact, I've never seen any rain forrests because they are all located in the extreme North of Brazil . I'm from the south, and the only animals you actually have there are pigeons. These are extremely boring and dirty birds. They shit everywhere and have no respect for people.
Then, a few years ago I came to live in Burbank. I was amazed to see how many amazing animals you guys have here. For instance, you guys have raccoons, rabbits, possums, skunks, deer, coyotes, and my favorites of them all: Squirrels. The are so cute and keep moving their tails around.
Sadly, The Burbank community take their squirrels for granted. Everyday I go to work, I witness these wonderful creatures being run over in most terrible ways imaginable.
Whenever I go have lunch at the comissary with my co-workers, we have to cross a path filled with squirrels.
I cannot contain myself with excitement.
My co-workers ridicule my behavior.
Co-worker: "See?! I told you he acts like a bum sometimes."
Overhearing those comments I feel so lame.
I have to hide my feelings and pretend I don't care about squirrels so people think I'm cool.
That repression kills me from inside out. I have to find a ways to express my feelings.
So one afternoon I have an idea: A underground operation.
...I sneak out of the building without no one noticing.
.....and go to starbucks.
I exchange goods with the Starbucks lady.
I pay for the product. She gives me the the usual caffeinated stuff.
But this time I ask for the pink stuff too.
Carrying my goods, I go to the commissary.
There I am at the underground zone.
I look around to see if the coast is clear.
I Sip my coffee and discreetly check my surroundings.
No signs of co-workers or burbank people.
So I pull the pink stuff from my pocket.
...get ready for action...
...and wait for it.
From behind the trees, a little chubby one finally comes.
He looks suspicious at first.
With his big eyes he looks at me while moving his furry tail up and down.
I am also a bit nervous. I look back to him and awkwardly smile.
To my surprise, the little guy smiles back.
He slowly approaches and gently grabs one good from my hands.
Then, noticing I am a trustworthy fellow, he feels comfortable in grabbing all the three goods.
After that, he runs back to the woods.
....and disappears forever.
I knew that at that moment I had made a connection.
One might even call it, a friendship.
almond nuts: 3,50 dollars caramel machiatto: 4,35 dollars
being catch by co-workers: un-coolness title
close encounter with a squirrel: PRICELESS.