Kate loves Halloween. In fact, she love it so much that she had to drag me to the L.A Haunted ride.
The line was really big and as we approached the Hayride I could feel the chills on my back. I am such a wuss for this kind of things. When I was a kid I actually passed out after a monster jumped in front of me at a haunted house. The security guards had to carry me in their arms and hand my unconscious body to my mom.
The decorations were kind of cheap but scary as hell at the same time. I guess it's the handmade quality of the craft. To make things even worse, ugly monsters would come towards people waiting in line. Their victims were usually the ones that seemed to be the most scaried. I was absolutely terrified but didn't want to show signs of scariness. I kept faking a smile on my face. Poor Kate, on the other hand, is not a good faker.
The monsters would take advantage of her scariness and would pick her as a victim all the time.
At that moment I knew I had found the secret to not being harassed by monsters.
So whenever I spotted a ugly monster, I would keep smiling as hard as I could. I would even laugh out loud a few times.
The monsters realized I wasn't scarred and would look for another victim.
Kate was always the chosen one. For the first time in my life, a haunted house was actually quite entertaining.
As we approached the truck, my heartbeats would accelarate exponentially.
A creepy german dude with a giant knife in his head came to welcome us to our death.
I wasn't too pleased to hear my death sentence, but I kept smiling.
The death journey begins.
We approach a foggy gate and hear horrifying howls on the background.
Suddenly, the truck stops right in the middle of the bloody wilderness.
Horrifying Creatures jump over the hay ride fences and run towards the truck.
Freakish Zombies with yellow contact lenses are face-to-face with us.
I kept smiling.
Staring at my squinty eyes, the zombie kind of noticed I was faking the smile.
Before he scared the hell of me I pointed out to Kate and said "Why are you so scared, Kate?"
The Zombie turned away from me towards poor Kate.
And scared the hell of her.
After the zombie attack, the truck start moving again.
From nowhere, asphyxiated, naked chicks covered in plastic bags attack us.
Luckly, the bags covering their bodies limited their movement so they could do too much damage.
But that wasn't enough. The truck driver had to stop once again in the middle of the dark forest from hell
In the distance, a shadow that seems to be a bush starts moving.
As it approaches to the truck, The bush creature reveals to be a hell of a troll!
Kate almost had a heart attack. I kept smiling but with tears in my eyes.
The truck driver announced were finally approaching the ending of the Hayride.
He congratulated us as we approached the last gate.
What it seemed to be the end, turned out to be the the the worst of my nightmares....
...CLOWNS!!! I HATE CLOWNS!!!
So I grabbed on Kate's sweatshirt as hard as I could....
.... hoping to keep my fake smile from cheek to cheek so the clowns woudn't notice me.
Suddenly, dozens of clowns appeared behind the truck.
They through a long cloth on top of us.
Since we were immersed into pitch black darkness....
.... the clowns were completely immune to my smile.
So I couldn't help it but to SCREAM OUT OF TERROR!
PS: No one was harmed or injured in the hayride. We all survived through the nightmare. However, I don't think I am coming back to a scary ride for a long time.